Cranky Clam

Cranky Clam

Cranky Clam is the surliest mollusc this side of the Atlantic. He lives in the swamp west of the garden and is always a bit damp. Maybe that’s why he’s so cranky! He is full of bile and vitriole and is not afraid to speak his mind.

You and all your silly cheerful friends better stay clear because he’ll bring all his clam friends and they’ll get all the silt of the swamp on your shoes, and then they’ll spit yucky bay water at you. Then they’ll snap at you, quickly, like clams do. Have you ever seen a clam do that? Well they do and it’s not very pleasant. Cranky Clam is not a very pleasant critter. In fact he’s very morose.

Cranky clam has dreams and ambitions

You know, everyone thinks it’s so great, being a clam – hanging out in the shallow swamp, living a life of leisure. Well that might be some other fella’s cup of tea but this mollusc has better things to do than take a bath all day. I have goals! Ambitions! Aspirations! I am a clam with dreams!

Cranky Clam doesn't mess around

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